It has been awhile..

Picture yourself in a vast ocean, where the horizon is no where to be seen. Where everything just stood still in that very moment with the traquility of the waters, and only you floating desperately on a broken raft. You're tired, drained and helpless. Before you, is earth's natural beatuty, will you choose to embrace it with hope and love or live in despair, lamenting the unfairness in life.

I can't seem to take control of my studies. Nothing ever goes in as a whole to my head. Perhaps it's just my pure laziness to not work hard enough and strive for the best. How much time am i left with? 6 months? Will it be a meaningful journey with you? Will you be willing to be with me forever.

"Eternity hah joke?" Am i that naive to believe in this crap?
I gave you everything and you know what i mean. Not coercing a commitment from you, just i feel really insecure. Think i'll just stop here.

It was a mistake. A irreversible mistake. I actually went against my principles and just let things go on and on. It's not a post of blame here but somehow i don't regret cause the person is you. Perhaps we were really too rash and things just got out of hands. I pray that we'll get out of this situation soon and revert back to our unworrying lives..

This really is my own feelings and i'm NOT gonna go through this shit again cause this year is way too important for me. Having to worry everyday, anticipating for something to come is simply just unbearable. Having to put up that tough front infront of my family is worst. It just stays at the back of my head each time when i'm alone, nothing better to think off. Somehow it just resurface by itself..

Please God, let us pull through this time. I'm to even sacrifice my few years of life span to stop this. Lastly, to my love i know you're really stressed up but please do not see this as a post of blame cause you're important in my life and it'll always be till the day i would be sleeping forever. Yes, i mean.

Why do i feel it so early

Apparently, i'm feeling the o level stress now. Yes, imagine now. I can even picture myself mugging nights after nights for this major exam a few months down the road. I know this is the one and only time to give it all and give it my best shot! L1R5 less than 12 is my target. Come on Serene Lam you can do it man :D i know you can :D Well.. i always believe that we have to work hard for that something we really yearn for and after we gone through that tough ordeal, i will be satisfied with myself. I hate regrets, especially in studies. After the tough battle, i will slowly savour and taste satisfaction. And if i don't work hard and make myself regret, i know it would feel awful.

Screwed up my sec three end of year exam big time. Especially my math and physics. Promised mr choo to get 3 points ONLY for both math and hey i'm gonna do that :D Physics really is a tough subject for me, but the tendancy to avoid it is really high. Take for eample holiday homework, I always rank it as last, avoiding it as much as possible. As much as i know this is not going to work, i still cannot face it with courage. It's only when i overcome this fear of mine can then i excel in physics, not disappointing myself. i can do it.

Honestly speaking the only reason for me to excel in studies is my parents. I do not want to let them down. The only thing i can use to repay them now is acheiving good results. At least i have something for them to be proud of (: And yes, i'm not gonna make this a regret. Must not

So for now, brush up on my sec three foundation to prep for sec four hectic schedule. Let's hope i can perform during sec four year (: All the best to me



I love my baby (: